Always a bridesmaid. . .

Today we have our first subject. I would like to start off by saying, that even though I may have a personal friendship with many of the subjects, I shall pretend as though I have never met them. I do this in the interest of fairness and artisitc license. With that being said, today's subject shall be known as "Mary".

"Oh, sad embittered bridesmaid! Was it not enough to make a spectacle of yourself at the rehearsal dinner when you "unintentionally" fondeled the bride's father and threw up the 15 mojitos you guzzled all over the flower girl? How does it feel having snogged the groom moments before he took his place at the front of the church? After all this, are you still bitter about not finding that special someone before your homlier and slightly more obnoxious "best friend"? Perhaps some day, you'll find your match. Just remember, you'll never be truly alone as long as you have your cats."