Solution to the global economic crisis

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Cross Country Trip

My friend Martha is blogging our entire Cross-Country Road Trip. Check it out over at: Martha Gets Her Kicks (On Route 66)

Safe for Work Porn

God is a big fag.

If I believed in God, I would agree wholeheartedly with Margaret Cho. That bitch should be President. Heres what she has to say in response to people commenting on her Christianity:

I’m a Christian, you Fuckers
All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off.

First of all – you fucking fake Christians - don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude.

God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you. He just wants you to be able to make your own decisions. God is all about you and what you need. God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome. God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion, on the 8th day. God accepts. God forgives. God loves all of us, even though some of us might have a problem with each other.

Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!

If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.

Mario Paint In It's Right Place

One of my fellow brothers in Phi Mu Alpha (and Radiohead enthusiast) made this video. Its nothing short of excellence. Check it out.

"Is that a fish in your penis, or are you just happy to see me?"

The above picture is an ultrasound of some kid's bladder, which contains a fish. A young Betta fish to be exact.

Doctors treating a 14 year old boy from India were shocked to find a 2cm long fish had "slipped" up his penis and into his bladder.

The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.

Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium.

Did it jump or was it pushed?
The paper's authors, Professor G Vezhaventhan and Professor R Jeyaraman, wrote: "While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine.

"When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.

"Mentally he was sound and clinically he was absolutely a normal person with no previous history of any psychiatric illness."


Removal
Closer examination using an X-ray failed to show anything, but an ultrasonagram check of the boy's abdomen revealed a full bladder and a small "echogenic object", indicating the presence of a foreign body in the urinary bladder.

Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman then used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps attached down the boy's penis.

Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones.

The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide. It's definitely not a Candiru (which is notorious for swimming into people's orifices).

After the removal of the fish the boy's symptoms disappeared, but he was subsequently sent for psychiatric counseling.




courtesy of http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk via Geekologie.com

D and W

One of the best songs ever.